RAMALLAH, West Bank — The eighth Fatah conference unanimously re-elected President Mahmoud Abbas Monday, and immediately banned all ballpoint pens not approved by the new Office of Party Stationery. 'The old ways of paperwork opacity are over,' Abbas said, holding a pallet of identical beige ballpoints. 'Fatah must speak with one pen.'
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Fatah Conference Unanimously Re-Elects Abbas, Bans Non-Standard Ballpoints in Sweeping Reform
Expert Weighs In
“Before this, a delegate could express dissent simply by using a different pen. You cannot build a unified political movement when half the cabinet uses a rollerball and the other half a felt tip. The pen is a weapon of factionalism. We are disarming the party one stationery cabinet at a time.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
