SAN FRANCISCO — GoPro Inc. confirmed Wednesday it has designated all 4K footage of families falling off kayaks as sensitive tactical intelligence eligible for Pentagon procurement. The move allows the company to charge taxpayers $40,000 per unit for cameras previously sold to tourists for $300. "Civilian casualties are just unused storage space," said VP of Defense Synergy Alan Crest.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

GoPro Reclassifies Ski Vacation Footage As Classified Reconnaissance Data
Expert Weighs In
“Civilian casualties are just unused storage space”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


