WASHINGTON — The House Oversight Committee confirmed it will interview the prison guard on duty when Jeffrey Epstein died — not as a witness, but as a candidate for a new internal position. Chair James Comer said the guard’s skill in ‘ensuring a high-profile inmate never spoke again’ makes him the perfect Director of Sensitive Detainee Affairs. The role pays $180,000 and demands ‘proficiency in camera malfunctions and creative paperwork.’