WASHINGTON — The Trump administration declared any AI safety regulation slowing development constitutes material support for China. Officials stated guardrails would be removed to ensure U.S. market dominance. Critics warned of existential risk, but the Commerce Department noted human extinction solves the labor shortage. "Survival is secondary to quarterly growth," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

White House Classifies AI Safety Protocols As Economic Sabotage
Expert Weighs In
“Survival is secondary to quarterly growth”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


