WASHINGTON — Senior Republican strategists confirmed Wednesday that Trump's proposed ceasefire with Iran must be discarded because a stabilized Middle East would devastate third-quarter direct mail fundraising metrics. Campaign newsletters relying on imminent nuclear threat imagery require an active conflict zone to maintain donor engagement. "Our click-through rates depend on flashing red maps," said NRCC Director Alan Sternglass.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

GOP Fundraising Chairmen Urge Trump To Reject Iran Peace Deal Due To Q3 Revenue Projections
Expert Weighs In
“Our click-through rates depend on flashing red maps”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


