WASHINGTON — The State Department confirmed Tuesday that a finalized peace agreement with Iran will remain unsigned until officials select an appropriate typeface for the public announcement. Secretary Rubio stated the pause will extend while staff debate kerning on the briefing header. Ongoing strikes were deemed acceptable collateral during the typography review.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

State Department Delays Iran Peace Treaty Pending Final Approval Of Press Release Font
Expert Weighs In
“We can stop the bombing, but not until it looks good on a teleprompter.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


