WASHINGTON — Trump declared victory after securing an agreement wherein Iran consented to sell its filing cabinets exclusively to Trump International Hotels. Seeking denuclearization, the administration settled for furniture rights, which Trump termed "the greatest seizure of enemy assets since the Louisiana Purchase." State Department confirmed zero nuclear concessions.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Trump Claims Victory After Iran Agrees To Sell Filing Cabinets To His Hotels
Expert Weighs In
“We sought uranium enrichment limits and received a bulk discount on steel drawers.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
