WASHINGTON — President Trump announced Tuesday that the U.S. economy will now be treated as a "negotiating position" in ongoing Iran talks, with all economic indicators reclassified as "bargaining data." The Commerce Department has stopped releasing GDP figures, citing "strategic ambiguity." "A perfect economy is a secret economy," Trump said.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Trump Reclassifies U.S. Economy as Negotiating Tool in Iran Talks, Suspends All Economic Reporting
Expert Weighs In
“We've entered a phase where the traditional economic rules no longer apply because they haven't been agreed to by Iran yet.”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


