SAN FRANCISCO — Colossal Biosciences confirmed Wednesday that de-extinct species will operate on a tiered SaaS model, with life functions locked behind a premium paywall. Respiration is included in the base plan, though non-compliant specimens will be remotely deactivated. "We can't justify reviving them if they don't generate ARR," said Chief Revenue Officer Gavin Price.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.

Colossal Biosciences Confirms Revived Dodos Will Require Monthly Subscription
Expert Weighs In
“We can't justify reviving them if they don't generate ARR”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.


