WASHINGTON — The Pentagon confirmed strikes were conducted solely to fulfill clause 14.B of the 2005 Defense Procurement Software License. Officials stated the conflict remains purely administrative. Commanders noted failing to launch three munitions per quarter voids the guidance system warranty. 'We'd love to de-escalate, but the audit is next month,' said Pentagon spokesman Harold Pinter.
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
Pentagon Confirms Missile Strikes Were Mandatory Quarterly Maintenance Check
Expert Weighs In
“We'd love to de-escalate, but the audit is next month”
⚠️ Satirical article. Expert quotes are fictional.
